me

sometimes, we can never really know another person. sometimes, we do not even know ourselves. sometimes, through some event, u realise a new perspective to your character.

what do i do with the stress. what do i do with the people. what do i do with the politics. what do i do with my friends.

what do i do with the conflicts. what do i do with the happiness. what do i do to nurse the hurt. what do i do to grow tougher.

as we all grow up, we grow to be protective. to show a side of yourself being independent, being strong and being able to take a stand. but, what if, doing it for the sake of doing it, you hurt someone that might be genuinely concern. what if insecurity shows, what if guilt shows, what if unhappiness show. do you really care for them or are you only obsessed in your world.

i, for who i am, totally suck at patching things up. i, was born, being weak at the heart and soul and just wanted to make people happy. i, as i am, tries to avoid conflict.

when i say that i am happy, i am happy. i cant fake excitement too often as it tires me out. if i cant say something nice, i'll just keep mum. tested and proven, i am learning to outgrow the one who is there just to please. at the same time, i wish for someone who really is concern to be frank, honest with me and being totally sweet about it.

i told a friend that he is not someone to keep in touch with people for it is against his nature. but as of the past week, i realised that im talking about no one but myself. this selfish being within that puts up a front at times.

of course, in my world, some people do matter more than the others. im surprise at how well im dealing with or dealt with making new friends, sticking with different friends, like some sort of social butterfly, but never really making a close one.

i thank the permenants in my life, for giving me the courage to venture and knowing that when im tired/sad, you guys will always be there and stand by me.

i must say that at times, i am really disappointed. that the close do not understand. that they suspect. that they dare not believe. that they do not rely. that they make me tired... that they make me guilty for not being not being who they want me to be or be what they think i am.

i am glad that i have friends who were with me for but a brief few months, who found me dependable, who found me stronger than i look, who found that i have an extremely good temper (they are trying to make me explode), who are completely frank with my flaws and in return, allow me to be absolutely frank as well.

i may seem to be very neutral, but if i am, thats what i feel. if i laugh, im trying to be friendly. if i shout at you, it may be an endearment (i do not shout at just anyone).

for all the fakeness in the world, i declare that they do not suit me. just try not to read too much into my actions and my words. they may not mean the way they sound IF you think you know me.

being thankful that i have friends.

我要忍

最近常常做错事，说错话，惹人厌。 有时，连我自己也不明白，好脾气怎么会在一瞬间消失不见。心情就像运销飞车，（虽然我没坐过）， 高高低低。像是缺乏朋友，而不想容忍别人。真是的！那天真得很生气耶！-女人不理性的时候-
真的真的， 终于还是发生了。我把与小学同学的约定时间给搞混了！还我没有赴约！害我其实还蛮期待的。
果然还是笑笑的好。脾气一不好，LUCKY指数也会随之往下掉。

趣事

有一个男人，因为心爱的妻子过世了，伤心欲绝，罗患忧郁症。
Viktor Frankl. ：试想象，如果是你先去世，你的太太会怎样？
男子：噢！他一定会很难过！
Viktor Frankl. ：所以你现在的痛苦，就是你为了保护你心爱的妻子而付出的代价。
-- 痛苦的意义--


家庭主妇的三大问题：
1）做了看不到
2）不坐看得到
3）做也做不完

perspectives.

i think that this is a really good article. J.K Rowling's speech at Harvard graduation. New perspective and truthful truths. Do take the time.

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2008/06.05/99-rowlingspeech.html

蠢事一桩

有些事是需要学习的。就像当时的面试一样。做了蠢事。 早犯错好过迟犯。
原来我毕竟有点白痴。